it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
