I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
