You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
