Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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