Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
