I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have aggressive nipples.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
