just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
