Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
