I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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