He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
