Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
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