She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
