yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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