I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
