I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
