I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm too high and old for this...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
