Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
