Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
