Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
