The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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