then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
