hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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