im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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