we're blogging at a bar
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
