found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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