I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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