please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
