Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
