dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
