Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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