I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
