nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
