U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
