Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
