I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
