I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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