Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
40s are totally the cure
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
