I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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