she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I fill condoms, not promises.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
