Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
