it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
