Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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