didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
