Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
