okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
