I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
