I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
