I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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