There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
