her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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