we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
